Sunday, June 13, 2010

Alive

I'm here, I'm alive, and I know I've gone silent. And I'm not really going to go into it right now. Just posting to say that I'm still here. And that I'm probably not going to be posting again until after the wedding (6 more days!). And probably for a few days after that too. Good times. :) I'll let you all know how it goes.

Friday, June 4, 2010

The longer post

So. I hear this is being described as the PCP valley. That's a pretty good name for it.

I have some confessions to make, and I really really don't want to make them. I'm embarassed, and frustrated with myself. And angry that many of my posts sound whiny and pathetic.

I fell off the wagon. Hard. Not too badly in terms of food, because as I keep telling people, I LIKE the food. I like veggies, and fruit, and milk. I even like my protein powder most nights.

But here are my dirty little secrets:

1. I've been adding sunflower seeds to my salads ever since my mom bought them and left them in my apartment. Salty salty seeds. I actually threw them across the room last night to make myself stop reaching for them.

2. I've been skipping workouts. A lot. And this is the one that makes me really angry. I know better. I AM better. I want my ideal body; I want to be in peak condition, and damn it I don't want to give up on this stupid project half way through. So what the hell is wrong with me? Evening workouts, for one. Grey's Anatomy for another. I have quite the addiction to it at the moment, and I've let myself be lazy. No more.

3. I use more olive oil than I should.

4. I use a lot more vinegar than I probably should, but it generally keeps me from craving salt. This is totally a mental thing--I used to love salt and vinegar chips, and this tricks my brain into thinking it's being "bad" even though I'm eating a salad.

5. I take more time between sets than I should. I know, I know. I'm not getting the maximum benefit. Can't help it. Sometimes it's all I can do to make myself do that one last set. So if it takes me an extra 20 seconds to start it, at least I started it. I still fail on almost everything anyway.

6. I don't weigh my lunch. This one is both really bad and not so bad. I get as much as I want for veggies for lunch, so I buy lunch at work now. Saves tons of time in the morning. But I end up guessing on my carbs and protein, which isn't great. And I technically don't know how the meat is prepared, so it may have lots of extra salt or something. I'm trying to talk myself into bringing the protein, and guessing on just the carbs. I'm pretty sure I underestimate anyway (I weigh my bread at home, so I know what the carb allocation should look like, more or less, and I eat less).

7. I sometimes forget my evening snack. Oops. It's not on purpose, but I got used to not eating after dinner, and I just sort of...forget sometimes.

There. My dirty secrets. Out in the open.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I'm still here

I'm here, I'm alive. Welcome to all the new people!! :D Longer post another night.