Sunday, June 13, 2010
Alive
I'm here, I'm alive, and I know I've gone silent. And I'm not really going to go into it right now. Just posting to say that I'm still here. And that I'm probably not going to be posting again until after the wedding (6 more days!). And probably for a few days after that too. Good times. :) I'll let you all know how it goes.
Friday, June 4, 2010
The longer post
So. I hear this is being described as the PCP valley. That's a pretty good name for it.
I have some confessions to make, and I really really don't want to make them. I'm embarassed, and frustrated with myself. And angry that many of my posts sound whiny and pathetic.
I fell off the wagon. Hard. Not too badly in terms of food, because as I keep telling people, I LIKE the food. I like veggies, and fruit, and milk. I even like my protein powder most nights.
But here are my dirty little secrets:
1. I've been adding sunflower seeds to my salads ever since my mom bought them and left them in my apartment. Salty salty seeds. I actually threw them across the room last night to make myself stop reaching for them.
2. I've been skipping workouts. A lot. And this is the one that makes me really angry. I know better. I AM better. I want my ideal body; I want to be in peak condition, and damn it I don't want to give up on this stupid project half way through. So what the hell is wrong with me? Evening workouts, for one. Grey's Anatomy for another. I have quite the addiction to it at the moment, and I've let myself be lazy. No more.
3. I use more olive oil than I should.
4. I use a lot more vinegar than I probably should, but it generally keeps me from craving salt. This is totally a mental thing--I used to love salt and vinegar chips, and this tricks my brain into thinking it's being "bad" even though I'm eating a salad.
5. I take more time between sets than I should. I know, I know. I'm not getting the maximum benefit. Can't help it. Sometimes it's all I can do to make myself do that one last set. So if it takes me an extra 20 seconds to start it, at least I started it. I still fail on almost everything anyway.
6. I don't weigh my lunch. This one is both really bad and not so bad. I get as much as I want for veggies for lunch, so I buy lunch at work now. Saves tons of time in the morning. But I end up guessing on my carbs and protein, which isn't great. And I technically don't know how the meat is prepared, so it may have lots of extra salt or something. I'm trying to talk myself into bringing the protein, and guessing on just the carbs. I'm pretty sure I underestimate anyway (I weigh my bread at home, so I know what the carb allocation should look like, more or less, and I eat less).
7. I sometimes forget my evening snack. Oops. It's not on purpose, but I got used to not eating after dinner, and I just sort of...forget sometimes.
There. My dirty secrets. Out in the open.
I have some confessions to make, and I really really don't want to make them. I'm embarassed, and frustrated with myself. And angry that many of my posts sound whiny and pathetic.
I fell off the wagon. Hard. Not too badly in terms of food, because as I keep telling people, I LIKE the food. I like veggies, and fruit, and milk. I even like my protein powder most nights.
But here are my dirty little secrets:
1. I've been adding sunflower seeds to my salads ever since my mom bought them and left them in my apartment. Salty salty seeds. I actually threw them across the room last night to make myself stop reaching for them.
2. I've been skipping workouts. A lot. And this is the one that makes me really angry. I know better. I AM better. I want my ideal body; I want to be in peak condition, and damn it I don't want to give up on this stupid project half way through. So what the hell is wrong with me? Evening workouts, for one. Grey's Anatomy for another. I have quite the addiction to it at the moment, and I've let myself be lazy. No more.
3. I use more olive oil than I should.
4. I use a lot more vinegar than I probably should, but it generally keeps me from craving salt. This is totally a mental thing--I used to love salt and vinegar chips, and this tricks my brain into thinking it's being "bad" even though I'm eating a salad.
5. I take more time between sets than I should. I know, I know. I'm not getting the maximum benefit. Can't help it. Sometimes it's all I can do to make myself do that one last set. So if it takes me an extra 20 seconds to start it, at least I started it. I still fail on almost everything anyway.
6. I don't weigh my lunch. This one is both really bad and not so bad. I get as much as I want for veggies for lunch, so I buy lunch at work now. Saves tons of time in the morning. But I end up guessing on my carbs and protein, which isn't great. And I technically don't know how the meat is prepared, so it may have lots of extra salt or something. I'm trying to talk myself into bringing the protein, and guessing on just the carbs. I'm pretty sure I underestimate anyway (I weigh my bread at home, so I know what the carb allocation should look like, more or less, and I eat less).
7. I sometimes forget my evening snack. Oops. It's not on purpose, but I got used to not eating after dinner, and I just sort of...forget sometimes.
There. My dirty secrets. Out in the open.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
An interesting morning
I work at a heatlhcare software company, and they have a cretain interest in keeping their employees healthy. It's a non-smoking campus, for example. Well, the past few weeks they've offered free health risk assessments done by the insurance companies we can have, and this morning I had mine.
I did great. BP 101/70, weight 151 lb with clothes. A solidly normal fasting blood sugar (88 mg/dl; normal is anywhere from 70-100).
And then there's my cholesterol. I wish I knew what it had been before this project. This morning it was low. Very. Total was 145 (normal according to them is below 200). Bad cholesterol... they couldn't even get a reading on it. They actually want me to come in and get blood drawn in a few weeks to get a better reading in general. Triglycerides are supposed to be below 150, and mine were 45, maybe less. Good cholesterol was low too, but she said that goes up with exercise, and before I did this project I didn't exercise. Ever. So I imagine that'll normalize soon enough. We'll see. When I get more numbers I'll let you know.
Oh and my body fat. I REALLY wish I'd known what it was before starting. It's just under 26% now, and their "fitness" level is 22-24% with "acceptable" being anything from 25-32%. I'm impressed with myself, but just being acceptable is not good enough. I can get to "fit." It's really not that far away. I can't wait to see what the second half of this project holds for us.
Go Team Running Rats!!!
I did great. BP 101/70, weight 151 lb with clothes. A solidly normal fasting blood sugar (88 mg/dl; normal is anywhere from 70-100).
And then there's my cholesterol. I wish I knew what it had been before this project. This morning it was low. Very. Total was 145 (normal according to them is below 200). Bad cholesterol... they couldn't even get a reading on it. They actually want me to come in and get blood drawn in a few weeks to get a better reading in general. Triglycerides are supposed to be below 150, and mine were 45, maybe less. Good cholesterol was low too, but she said that goes up with exercise, and before I did this project I didn't exercise. Ever. So I imagine that'll normalize soon enough. We'll see. When I get more numbers I'll let you know.
Oh and my body fat. I REALLY wish I'd known what it was before starting. It's just under 26% now, and their "fitness" level is 22-24% with "acceptable" being anything from 25-32%. I'm impressed with myself, but just being acceptable is not good enough. I can get to "fit." It's really not that far away. I can't wait to see what the second half of this project holds for us.
Go Team Running Rats!!!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Just thoughts on food
I am so sick of bananas.
...Yeah, that's pretty much it. New pictures should be going up tonight (finally!).
...Yeah, that's pretty much it. New pictures should be going up tonight (finally!).
Monday, May 24, 2010
Long time, no posts....
So I sort of disappeared for a while. And I sort of fell off the wagon. Not entirely, more like slipping and being dragged behind while trying to climb back on. The image works better with a horse and a saddle.
I skipped workouts. Including the jumping. I've been eating out, though I have tried to keep it PCP compliant--lots of salads. But apparently all restaurants dump salt on their grilled chicken, which is gross. But I need the protein, so I eat it anyway and then marvel at how bloated my feet are the next day. (Seriously. I was trying to buy shoes and things didn't fit the way they should.)
I even went so far as to eat a couple french fries. And marvel of marvels, I didn't like it that much. I looked at the pile of them that came with my half sandwich and salad, and I knew that I could eat every single one. And I just didn't want to. I had more than the one I said I'd try, just "to see" how it tasted after all this time. And after 3 or 4 they started tasting "normal" again. But they definitely don't have the power over me that they used to.
I'm also slowly climbing back onto the wagon, though I'm now a few days behind. I couldn't stand the thought of just straight up missing those workouts (did that last week, and I regret it), so I started with day 37 or 38 or whatever the start of the week is, and I'm just doing them late. Pistol squats hurt. I suck at everything involving the chest, except standing ovations. I can't do real pullups. But I'm trying, and if I keep a death grip on the wagon/saddle and don't fall off again, I think I'll be ok in the end. (Really, I think I'll be ok no matter what, since my tastes have clearly changed and I'm lighter than I've been since high school, but I'm not done improving yet.)
I skipped workouts. Including the jumping. I've been eating out, though I have tried to keep it PCP compliant--lots of salads. But apparently all restaurants dump salt on their grilled chicken, which is gross. But I need the protein, so I eat it anyway and then marvel at how bloated my feet are the next day. (Seriously. I was trying to buy shoes and things didn't fit the way they should.)
I even went so far as to eat a couple french fries. And marvel of marvels, I didn't like it that much. I looked at the pile of them that came with my half sandwich and salad, and I knew that I could eat every single one. And I just didn't want to. I had more than the one I said I'd try, just "to see" how it tasted after all this time. And after 3 or 4 they started tasting "normal" again. But they definitely don't have the power over me that they used to.
I'm also slowly climbing back onto the wagon, though I'm now a few days behind. I couldn't stand the thought of just straight up missing those workouts (did that last week, and I regret it), so I started with day 37 or 38 or whatever the start of the week is, and I'm just doing them late. Pistol squats hurt. I suck at everything involving the chest, except standing ovations. I can't do real pullups. But I'm trying, and if I keep a death grip on the wagon/saddle and don't fall off again, I think I'll be ok in the end. (Really, I think I'll be ok no matter what, since my tastes have clearly changed and I'm lighter than I've been since high school, but I'm not done improving yet.)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Back Home
This was a great, if challenging, weekend.
Being home and seeing my fiance for the first time in months was fantastic. The bridal shower was awesome, and we got a lot of gifts that I wasn't really expecting to get (like the Kitchenaid mixer). :)
In PCP terms, it could have gone better. I meant to bring my scale, but left it at home because I was rushing to not miss my plane. So I was guessing on everything all weekend.
I also forgot my dinner Friday night, so I had to try and find something to eat in an airport that was PCP friendly-not an easy task. I settled on a salad from Wendy's, and wow have my taste buds changed. The dressing was disgusting--full of sugar and other nasty stuff. Even the chicken was awful. It was grilled, so I thought it might be ok, and I knew I needed to get some protein somewhere, but it was covered in salt and barely edible. I actually almost gagged when I saw a woman sitting across from me putting salt on her french fries. A month ago that would have been me putting salt on her fries.
Dealing with my parents was marginally easier than I anticipated. After they gave me lots of compliments on how much weight I'd lost so far (about 10 lbs), they didn't really push "bad" food on me like normal. I had explained the PCP as best I could without showing them the website, and told them the basic rules of the diet. Even so, I had to opt out of my stepdad's steaks because he'd already covered them with salt, and my mother insisted on me having "just one bite." I did, and it was delicious, but I didn't want more. I was really happy with the lemon herb shrimp they'd made just for me. *shrug* She is definitely something of a saboteur of diets disguised as a model hostess.
But more than anything else, I was impressed with the way I avoided falling into old habits. There is always a candy bowl sitting on the kitchen counter, and in the past, I would typically snack on it throughout the day. Other than a slight pull towards it out of habit, I didn't even look. I didn't snack at night the way I used to. I didn't want to grab a soda, even after two nights of 5 hours of sleep in a row. I didn't eat because I was bored. PCP has changed things for me in ways I hadn't anticipated, and it's AWESOME.
Go Team Running Rats!!!
Being home and seeing my fiance for the first time in months was fantastic. The bridal shower was awesome, and we got a lot of gifts that I wasn't really expecting to get (like the Kitchenaid mixer). :)
In PCP terms, it could have gone better. I meant to bring my scale, but left it at home because I was rushing to not miss my plane. So I was guessing on everything all weekend.
I also forgot my dinner Friday night, so I had to try and find something to eat in an airport that was PCP friendly-not an easy task. I settled on a salad from Wendy's, and wow have my taste buds changed. The dressing was disgusting--full of sugar and other nasty stuff. Even the chicken was awful. It was grilled, so I thought it might be ok, and I knew I needed to get some protein somewhere, but it was covered in salt and barely edible. I actually almost gagged when I saw a woman sitting across from me putting salt on her french fries. A month ago that would have been me putting salt on her fries.
Dealing with my parents was marginally easier than I anticipated. After they gave me lots of compliments on how much weight I'd lost so far (about 10 lbs), they didn't really push "bad" food on me like normal. I had explained the PCP as best I could without showing them the website, and told them the basic rules of the diet. Even so, I had to opt out of my stepdad's steaks because he'd already covered them with salt, and my mother insisted on me having "just one bite." I did, and it was delicious, but I didn't want more. I was really happy with the lemon herb shrimp they'd made just for me. *shrug* She is definitely something of a saboteur of diets disguised as a model hostess.
But more than anything else, I was impressed with the way I avoided falling into old habits. There is always a candy bowl sitting on the kitchen counter, and in the past, I would typically snack on it throughout the day. Other than a slight pull towards it out of habit, I didn't even look. I didn't snack at night the way I used to. I didn't want to grab a soda, even after two nights of 5 hours of sleep in a row. I didn't eat because I was bored. PCP has changed things for me in ways I hadn't anticipated, and it's AWESOME.
Go Team Running Rats!!!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The battle continues
Patrick, can we cut the eggs again? Permanently? Starting now?
Most of the week I felt ok, really. Last Thursday was miserable after breakfast, then I was more or less fine up until yesterday. After breakfast yesterday I felt terrible. Completely nauseated. This morning was also fairly bad, though not as bad as yesterday. But the reason I'm posting is because of dinner. Apple, banana, egg white. I ate it three hours ago and I still feel too sick to work out. I can't stand the thought of eating my evening snack.
Granted, I don't usually eat bananas. That was more banana in one sitting than I've had in months. So technically that could be the cause. But I'm putting my money on the eggs.
Most of the week I felt ok, really. Last Thursday was miserable after breakfast, then I was more or less fine up until yesterday. After breakfast yesterday I felt terrible. Completely nauseated. This morning was also fairly bad, though not as bad as yesterday. But the reason I'm posting is because of dinner. Apple, banana, egg white. I ate it three hours ago and I still feel too sick to work out. I can't stand the thought of eating my evening snack.
Granted, I don't usually eat bananas. That was more banana in one sitting than I've had in months. So technically that could be the cause. But I'm putting my money on the eggs.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tired
I'm feeling better, now. But the past few days have been slowly leading up to what happened this morning: complete meltdown.
I can blame hormones all I want, and they probably did play some role (yay PMS... /sarcasm), but the real problem is that I'm not sleeping enough. I haven't gotten to bed before midnight for a week, at least, and I get up by 6:30 most days. Sure, I sleep in on weekends, but even then I know I wasn't actually getting the 8+ hours my body needed to "catch up."
Yesterday I don't even remember my alarm going off. I finally woke up when my stepdad called me at 7 AM demanding money and guilting me about not mailing a Mother's Day card on time. Today, I woke up at 7 on my own. I didn't want to, and I didn't have any sort of motivation. Not to get dressed, not to eat, not to go to work. I did get dressed, but then I just sort of stopped. Turned on the weather channel to see what it was going to be like (cloudy, cold. I hate this weather). And then I started crying. And I couldn't stop. Eventually it was time to go to work and I hadn't eaten or anything yet. I got a hold of one of the people I carpool with, and when she heard me crying she insisted on coming over and helping me.
She and the other guy we go to work with came over, and I walked them through my breakfast menu, and my lunch menu. They cooked for me, I slowly packed my lunch. I ate, and they helped clean up my kitchen. It still isn't clean, really. There are still plenty of dirty tupperware containers around. But it's better than it was.
It was humiliating, and humbling, and exactly what I needed. I hate, with a horribly cliched passion, getting help like this. I hate letting people see me cry. And I can't stand to let people see my house/apartment in the state it's in. I could psychoanalyze myself here, but I'll try to refrain. Suffice it to say that I don't know how to let myself be taken care of. I normally resist it at all costs. And this morning I had the sense to let my friends take care of me.
I'm calling it a step forward. I'm still overwhelmed, and I'm still on the edge, emotionally. I've got a lot on my plate right now, more than one person can handle on their own. I know that, and I'm trying to learn to lean on others more.
In much happier news, I had my indulgence last night: pizza! I'd been craving it for a week, and let myself give in to it this week at the Mage group. I had planned to, so I guess it wasn't "giving in" in the normal sense. I had already proven to myself that I could resist if I wanted to, so I didn't mind using this social context to have my indulgence. And the pizza was every bit as good as it looked and smelled. Maybe a little saltier than it would have tasted pre-PCP. I did overdo it a little, having 3 pieces instead of 2 (which I rationalized by saying they were pretty thin. True, but an excuse nonetheless). And I paid for it with a mildly upset stomach. I definitely still like my veggies, and am looking forward to having my PCP lunch today, but that pizza was fanastic. I think the craving has been satisfied for a while now. Looking forward to indulgence 2, whenever we get it, which I'm using for my wedding (yay key lime pie!!).
I can blame hormones all I want, and they probably did play some role (yay PMS... /sarcasm), but the real problem is that I'm not sleeping enough. I haven't gotten to bed before midnight for a week, at least, and I get up by 6:30 most days. Sure, I sleep in on weekends, but even then I know I wasn't actually getting the 8+ hours my body needed to "catch up."
Yesterday I don't even remember my alarm going off. I finally woke up when my stepdad called me at 7 AM demanding money and guilting me about not mailing a Mother's Day card on time. Today, I woke up at 7 on my own. I didn't want to, and I didn't have any sort of motivation. Not to get dressed, not to eat, not to go to work. I did get dressed, but then I just sort of stopped. Turned on the weather channel to see what it was going to be like (cloudy, cold. I hate this weather). And then I started crying. And I couldn't stop. Eventually it was time to go to work and I hadn't eaten or anything yet. I got a hold of one of the people I carpool with, and when she heard me crying she insisted on coming over and helping me.
She and the other guy we go to work with came over, and I walked them through my breakfast menu, and my lunch menu. They cooked for me, I slowly packed my lunch. I ate, and they helped clean up my kitchen. It still isn't clean, really. There are still plenty of dirty tupperware containers around. But it's better than it was.
It was humiliating, and humbling, and exactly what I needed. I hate, with a horribly cliched passion, getting help like this. I hate letting people see me cry. And I can't stand to let people see my house/apartment in the state it's in. I could psychoanalyze myself here, but I'll try to refrain. Suffice it to say that I don't know how to let myself be taken care of. I normally resist it at all costs. And this morning I had the sense to let my friends take care of me.
I'm calling it a step forward. I'm still overwhelmed, and I'm still on the edge, emotionally. I've got a lot on my plate right now, more than one person can handle on their own. I know that, and I'm trying to learn to lean on others more.
In much happier news, I had my indulgence last night: pizza! I'd been craving it for a week, and let myself give in to it this week at the Mage group. I had planned to, so I guess it wasn't "giving in" in the normal sense. I had already proven to myself that I could resist if I wanted to, so I didn't mind using this social context to have my indulgence. And the pizza was every bit as good as it looked and smelled. Maybe a little saltier than it would have tasted pre-PCP. I did overdo it a little, having 3 pieces instead of 2 (which I rationalized by saying they were pretty thin. True, but an excuse nonetheless). And I paid for it with a mildly upset stomach. I definitely still like my veggies, and am looking forward to having my PCP lunch today, but that pizza was fanastic. I think the craving has been satisfied for a while now. Looking forward to indulgence 2, whenever we get it, which I'm using for my wedding (yay key lime pie!!).
Busy
Had my indulgence last night. Have new pictures to put up. Been too busy to do anything for PCP but eat and workout. Bigger update later.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Egg and Shopping
I've felt ok after eggs for two days in a row--all weekend in other words. I'm feeling a little off this morning. Not bad, not like it has been before, just sort of....there. Like I'm suddenly more aware that I have a stomach.
Workout yesterday was very very slow. Much slower than it should have been. I spent a lot of extra time resting between sets and exercises; time that I shouldn't have rested. It was entirely a mental thing, since I knew going into the workout that I didn't want to do it. But I did it anyway. *shrug* At least it got done, even if I didn't get the full effects because of the extra resting.
Floor jumps are killer, still can't do real pushups (though I do try every time they're on the list) so I'm doing them on my knees, and can't breath during v-sits. Those things are brutal.
Everything else is pretty ok. Went shopping yesterday for a dress to wear to my bridal shower, and had a surprisingly great time trying on clothes. Things fit. I actually had to veto things that were too big in the chest. I've never, ever had to do that. Now, I know a lot of girls that do PCP lament the disappearance of their breasts as they lose body fat (and really, what are breasts but fat and a couple glands?), but for me, it's one of the perks. I'm not massive, I know that. I've seen plenty of women bigger than me. But I've been a D cup since I was 12, and it's not been fun. So I'm getting excited that my bras are fitting a little looser than they used to. Of course, losing some of the abdominal fat would be nice too. :)
Workout yesterday was very very slow. Much slower than it should have been. I spent a lot of extra time resting between sets and exercises; time that I shouldn't have rested. It was entirely a mental thing, since I knew going into the workout that I didn't want to do it. But I did it anyway. *shrug* At least it got done, even if I didn't get the full effects because of the extra resting.
Floor jumps are killer, still can't do real pushups (though I do try every time they're on the list) so I'm doing them on my knees, and can't breath during v-sits. Those things are brutal.
Everything else is pretty ok. Went shopping yesterday for a dress to wear to my bridal shower, and had a surprisingly great time trying on clothes. Things fit. I actually had to veto things that were too big in the chest. I've never, ever had to do that. Now, I know a lot of girls that do PCP lament the disappearance of their breasts as they lose body fat (and really, what are breasts but fat and a couple glands?), but for me, it's one of the perks. I'm not massive, I know that. I've seen plenty of women bigger than me. But I've been a D cup since I was 12, and it's not been fun. So I'm getting excited that my bras are fitting a little looser than they used to. Of course, losing some of the abdominal fat would be nice too. :)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Indulgences and Parents
I'm beginning to get myself mentally prepared for my trip home coming up next weekend. My parents are one of the main reasons I didn't start the PCP earlier. It's not that they won't be supportive. They're almost certainly going to say all the right things. BUT since my stepdad has no interest in eating healthy, this trip is definitely going to be a test of my self control and my dedication to the program. So I figure that the earlier I start getting my mind ready for the challenge, the better off I'll be.
I'm also sort of torn in regards to the indulgence. On the one hand, it could make one meal with my parents a lot easier. On the other hand, letting their habits affect my food choices does nothing to change my relationship with food when I'm around them. I'm also thinking about using it for whatever food we have at the bridal shower on Saturday, but again, it doesn't help me navigate social situations where I have to eat in the future. Besides, there's a part of me that's had a craving for either pizza or french fries or something like that for a really long time now. So I may decide on a food I want for my indulgence and have it before I leave, then just tough it out with my parents. Or not.
I'll let you know what I decide.
I'm also sort of torn in regards to the indulgence. On the one hand, it could make one meal with my parents a lot easier. On the other hand, letting their habits affect my food choices does nothing to change my relationship with food when I'm around them. I'm also thinking about using it for whatever food we have at the bridal shower on Saturday, but again, it doesn't help me navigate social situations where I have to eat in the future. Besides, there's a part of me that's had a craving for either pizza or french fries or something like that for a really long time now. So I may decide on a food I want for my indulgence and have it before I leave, then just tough it out with my parents. Or not.
I'll let you know what I decide.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Quick diet update
The eggs are back in the diet this week.
The first "real" week, I didn't get sick every morning, but probably 3-4 out of the 7. I did however feel very tired and sluggish after breakfast most days. Last week was egg free, and I didn't feel sick at all, and was starting to feel some real energy--until I stopped being able to get enough sleep, which derailed the whole energy bit. Eggs are back now, and though I'll admit I skipped the egg yesterday in favor of the 30g of protein I'd been doing last week (really horrible morning, overslept by an hour and didn't have time to cook, just measure and leave) I made myself an egg this morning. Right on schedule, about half an hour after breakfast I'm feeling super queasy. I'm willing to chalk up the overwhelming tiredness to my body being run down by the week and lack of proper sleep, but I can't see another explanation for the nausea. Everything else I ate this morning and last night I've been eating for a couple weeks now without incident.
In other news, barely two days after Patrick's e-mail about people getting sick on the PCP I'm feeling off. Lots of sneezing and blowing of the nose. I do believe I've caught a little cold. Nothing serious, but definitely annoying, AND it just makes me want to crawl into bed that little bit more.
I'm so glad it's Friday.
The first "real" week, I didn't get sick every morning, but probably 3-4 out of the 7. I did however feel very tired and sluggish after breakfast most days. Last week was egg free, and I didn't feel sick at all, and was starting to feel some real energy--until I stopped being able to get enough sleep, which derailed the whole energy bit. Eggs are back now, and though I'll admit I skipped the egg yesterday in favor of the 30g of protein I'd been doing last week (really horrible morning, overslept by an hour and didn't have time to cook, just measure and leave) I made myself an egg this morning. Right on schedule, about half an hour after breakfast I'm feeling super queasy. I'm willing to chalk up the overwhelming tiredness to my body being run down by the week and lack of proper sleep, but I can't see another explanation for the nausea. Everything else I ate this morning and last night I've been eating for a couple weeks now without incident.
In other news, barely two days after Patrick's e-mail about people getting sick on the PCP I'm feeling off. Lots of sneezing and blowing of the nose. I do believe I've caught a little cold. Nothing serious, but definitely annoying, AND it just makes me want to crawl into bed that little bit more.
I'm so glad it's Friday.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Some observations
I just did 250 jumps in a row, without tripping. It felt AWESOME. And then I realized that it only took me 20 minutes to do all 1000 jumps. Which felt even more awesome. It used to take me almost that long to do 300. And when I was done, I wasn't even breathing that hard--something new. I'm going to chalk all of this up to jumping outside tonight, where it was fairly cool. I still worked up a sweat, but not nearly as much of one.
Also, Greek yogurt sucks. I'm very glad I bought the small cups instead of a big tub, this way I won't have to toss it. Never really liked yogurt in general, but after hearing good things about the Greek stuff I thought I'd try. Sticking to milk from now on, I believe.
Also, Greek yogurt sucks. I'm very glad I bought the small cups instead of a big tub, this way I won't have to toss it. Never really liked yogurt in general, but after hearing good things about the Greek stuff I thought I'd try. Sticking to milk from now on, I believe.
Mad skillz
This week is kicking my ass. Not the PCP week, the real world week. Is it Friday yet?
So a little background: I play pencil and paper rpgs. Dungeons and Dragons, Gurps, White Wolf, etc. A new group started up last night, so I was out most of the evening. For anyone that doesn't know, these groups are frequently centered around some sort of take out food, typically pizza. At least in my experience. Last night was no exception.
I'd had time to eat dinner beforehand, but I was still hungry, and wasn't expecting to be there too late so I didn't bring my evening snack with me (mistake I won't repeat). They ordered a pizza. And sat it on the table right in front of me. It smelled incredible. It looked incredible. I really really really wanted a piece. But I resisted. Even when everyone else was done and there were two pieces left, I resisted.
I still want that pizza. It's the strongest craving I've had so far in the PCP. A week ago I had a craving for french fries too after smelling them at the bowling alley. And I still want those too.
I like the food we're eating, but I still sometimes miss my junk food.
So a little background: I play pencil and paper rpgs. Dungeons and Dragons, Gurps, White Wolf, etc. A new group started up last night, so I was out most of the evening. For anyone that doesn't know, these groups are frequently centered around some sort of take out food, typically pizza. At least in my experience. Last night was no exception.
I'd had time to eat dinner beforehand, but I was still hungry, and wasn't expecting to be there too late so I didn't bring my evening snack with me (mistake I won't repeat). They ordered a pizza. And sat it on the table right in front of me. It smelled incredible. It looked incredible. I really really really wanted a piece. But I resisted. Even when everyone else was done and there were two pieces left, I resisted.
I still want that pizza. It's the strongest craving I've had so far in the PCP. A week ago I had a craving for french fries too after smelling them at the bowling alley. And I still want those too.
I like the food we're eating, but I still sometimes miss my junk food.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Nothing New
Not much to report.
Eating well, feeling well. Exercising...as best I can. The pushups.... damn those pushups. I absolutely can't do the "real" ones yet, and I can't really finish the sets we've got of the knee ones. I do what I can, I rest a little, and do a few more. I do try to push myself, really. But I don't feel any stronger in my chest than I did before this whole thing started.
Everything else is more or less keeping up with the exercises though. Ok, not the davincis. But I do them. As best I can, even though I'm lucky to get my arms up past my waist in the last couple reps. Oh the burn. :)
Eating well, feeling well. Exercising...as best I can. The pushups.... damn those pushups. I absolutely can't do the "real" ones yet, and I can't really finish the sets we've got of the knee ones. I do what I can, I rest a little, and do a few more. I do try to push myself, really. But I don't feel any stronger in my chest than I did before this whole thing started.
Everything else is more or less keeping up with the exercises though. Ok, not the davincis. But I do them. As best I can, even though I'm lucky to get my arms up past my waist in the last couple reps. Oh the burn. :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A new day
So after my meltdown post a few days ago, things have been looking up. In practicality nothing has changed. It's still a lot of food, there are still a lot of unwashed dishes, and I still don't have time for much other than PCP. But once I had blogged about it and gotten those very very nice responses (thanks again guys!) everything became...ok. Like I could handle it again. And I think I've got enough food left from the last grocery trip to last me into the weekend, which is a bit of a relief in and of itself.
Side note--do sweet potatos count as veggies? Or are they so starchy that I ought to count them as carbs? I bought a couple I'm looking forward to eating, but I wanted to know how to count them first.
Side note--do sweet potatos count as veggies? Or are they so starchy that I ought to count them as carbs? I bought a couple I'm looking forward to eating, but I wanted to know how to count them first.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Wanted: Time Management
First the good. Last night I showed up for myself. Now, this isn't a momentous occasion in and of itself. I've been showing up every day for the last two weeks (which IS an accomplishment). What makes last night special is that I didn't want to. At all. I didn't want to work out. It was late, I was tired. Very tired. I was halfway through putting pajamas on when I changed my mind and grabbed a sports bra out of the dryer and did the work out. I have no idea what made me do that. I'm impressed with myself, even though I'm missing the sleep I would have gotten if I'd skipped.
Which brings me to my next point. I'm tired. Really tired. And getting frustrated fast. And not just a little frustrated, but I'm-tired-of-this-and-want-to-stop frustrated. I have no plans to stop since I am actually feeling the results of the workouts, and seeing a result on the scale in the morning. Even so, I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I'm managing to keep up with the cooking, just barely, but between that and the dishes this much cooking creates, and the workouts on top of that.... I'm running out of time every night, and having to go to bed later, which means I can't wake up early enough to workout or do anything productive in the mornings.
Add to all that the fact that I'm trying to get to know people in a brand new city, plan a wedding, and train for my new job... I can't say I'm surprised I'm worn out, or that I wasn't expecting it. I just don't know how to get a handle on everything to get to the point where I can get back to having a side dish of life next to the PCP. Obvious solutions: wake up earlier, prep several meals in advance, clean up everything immediately, workout in the mornings. So much easier said than done when I've gotten behind.
Sorry for the whining. Thanks for listening.
Which brings me to my next point. I'm tired. Really tired. And getting frustrated fast. And not just a little frustrated, but I'm-tired-of-this-and-want-to-stop frustrated. I have no plans to stop since I am actually feeling the results of the workouts, and seeing a result on the scale in the morning. Even so, I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I'm managing to keep up with the cooking, just barely, but between that and the dishes this much cooking creates, and the workouts on top of that.... I'm running out of time every night, and having to go to bed later, which means I can't wake up early enough to workout or do anything productive in the mornings.
Add to all that the fact that I'm trying to get to know people in a brand new city, plan a wedding, and train for my new job... I can't say I'm surprised I'm worn out, or that I wasn't expecting it. I just don't know how to get a handle on everything to get to the point where I can get back to having a side dish of life next to the PCP. Obvious solutions: wake up earlier, prep several meals in advance, clean up everything immediately, workout in the mornings. So much easier said than done when I've gotten behind.
Sorry for the whining. Thanks for listening.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Hello again
It's been a while since I've posted. I've been trying to catch up to the new diet--lots of groceries to buy, lots of dishes to clean. At least a lot more than I'm used to. Before this I was a one dish, microwave meal sort of girl when left on my own. Which is a little sad considering how much I'm loving the new diet. I mean, fruit breaks? Why would anyone ever need to put honey on that stuff? (Just kidding. I know a lot of people like their fruit sweeter than I do.)
Still feeling funky in the mornings, so I talked to Patrick and we decided I would go sans-eggs next week to see if they're really the culprit. If so, then it's a quick (though rather annoying) fix. If not, I'll have to keep really close tabs on everything I'm eating and see if I can ID something else that might be giving me problems.
I've also noticed that how much I can eat varies drastically depending on what I'm eating and how it's cooked. 160g of raw veggies (mostly spinach with some cucumbers and carrots thrown in)? Next to impossible. That same meal with cooked spinach? Easy. Same with Bread vs. Pasta. Bread is just so light that I need a lot more of it to make the gram count. So I've been looking for heavier foods--i.e. ones with a lot of water in them. It's definitely made eating all that food easier and more manageable. And tastier. I've discovered a love for raw carrots that I don't remember having before. And a love for cooked spinach I had completely forgotten about since I was 4.
In workout news, I find that the pushup bars make pushups a lot harder. Possibly because they improve my form, possibly because I've been doing them sort of wrong up till now? I don't know. Everything else has been going well. I love the standing ovations. Odd number days are my favorite so far. :)
There was one day last week where I straight up skipped the lunges though. I did one set with my right leg, and when I went to switch I couldn't do one without my left knee hurting a lot. So I skipped them. It seems to have been a good move, since the lunges yesterday were easy and pain-free (excepting the burning in my muscles. But that isn't pain, so my statement still stands. :) ) Easy is also a relative term there. I did the max in each set, but I was shaking by the end. All in all it was a great workout.
I feel bad about skipping an exercise entirely, but this whole thing is about health and wellness. It's pointless if I don't take the time to listen to my body when it's telling me no and end up hurting myself. So even though I feel like I cheated, which I suppose I did, I know it was the right move for that day.
Still feeling funky in the mornings, so I talked to Patrick and we decided I would go sans-eggs next week to see if they're really the culprit. If so, then it's a quick (though rather annoying) fix. If not, I'll have to keep really close tabs on everything I'm eating and see if I can ID something else that might be giving me problems.
I've also noticed that how much I can eat varies drastically depending on what I'm eating and how it's cooked. 160g of raw veggies (mostly spinach with some cucumbers and carrots thrown in)? Next to impossible. That same meal with cooked spinach? Easy. Same with Bread vs. Pasta. Bread is just so light that I need a lot more of it to make the gram count. So I've been looking for heavier foods--i.e. ones with a lot of water in them. It's definitely made eating all that food easier and more manageable. And tastier. I've discovered a love for raw carrots that I don't remember having before. And a love for cooked spinach I had completely forgotten about since I was 4.
In workout news, I find that the pushup bars make pushups a lot harder. Possibly because they improve my form, possibly because I've been doing them sort of wrong up till now? I don't know. Everything else has been going well. I love the standing ovations. Odd number days are my favorite so far. :)
There was one day last week where I straight up skipped the lunges though. I did one set with my right leg, and when I went to switch I couldn't do one without my left knee hurting a lot. So I skipped them. It seems to have been a good move, since the lunges yesterday were easy and pain-free (excepting the burning in my muscles. But that isn't pain, so my statement still stands. :) ) Easy is also a relative term there. I did the max in each set, but I was shaking by the end. All in all it was a great workout.
I feel bad about skipping an exercise entirely, but this whole thing is about health and wellness. It's pointless if I don't take the time to listen to my body when it's telling me no and end up hurting myself. So even though I feel like I cheated, which I suppose I did, I know it was the right move for that day.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
And then there was food
I've read the completed blogs. I've read more than one from beginning to end. I knew week 2 brought harder workouts, a defined diet, and a lot of food. I was still completely unprepared for just how much food that was. I couldn't finish breakfast. 3 mini bagels (yay for whole wheat!), an egg, and a bowl of broccoli. I think I left half the broccoli--very sad, broccoli is my favorite veggie and I can usually eat much more than one bowl of it--plus one of the bagels. I tried, really. But there was no way to do it without making myself sick. Though I'm pretty sure my stomach will expand again and be able to accomodate the new plan inside of a week. It's a remarkable organ.
I'm also really really hoping that I'm tired today because I haven't gotten enough sleep lately, and I'm feeling nauseated because I a. ate too much despite not finishing breakfast, or b. am getting sick. Unfortunately I've got a nagging feeling that this is another food intolerance sneaking up on me. See, I don't eat fish anymore. I love fish, but every single time I give in to the temptation and eat some, I feel like I'd rather lose my insides altogether than deal with the pain they put me through within half an hour of indulging my palate. What I felt this morning? A milder, but very familiar, reaction.
I'm (what's stronger than hoping? I don't actually pray...) that it's NOT an intolerance coming out. Because there's only one possible culprit. The egg. Everything else that I've eaten for the past week are things that I've eaten a thousand times. I don't eat eggs though. Haven't since I was a kid. Don't like how they taste or how they smell. But I knew they were part of the project and have thus far clung to the belief that you can develop a taste for dirt if you eat enough of it. So we'll see how the rest of the week plays out. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do if this doesn't fix itself.
I'm also really really hoping that I'm tired today because I haven't gotten enough sleep lately, and I'm feeling nauseated because I a. ate too much despite not finishing breakfast, or b. am getting sick. Unfortunately I've got a nagging feeling that this is another food intolerance sneaking up on me. See, I don't eat fish anymore. I love fish, but every single time I give in to the temptation and eat some, I feel like I'd rather lose my insides altogether than deal with the pain they put me through within half an hour of indulging my palate. What I felt this morning? A milder, but very familiar, reaction.
I'm (what's stronger than hoping? I don't actually pray...) that it's NOT an intolerance coming out. Because there's only one possible culprit. The egg. Everything else that I've eaten for the past week are things that I've eaten a thousand times. I don't eat eggs though. Haven't since I was a kid. Don't like how they taste or how they smell. But I knew they were part of the project and have thus far clung to the belief that you can develop a taste for dirt if you eat enough of it. So we'll see how the rest of the week plays out. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do if this doesn't fix itself.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Some PCP observations, some non-PCP observations
I hate working out at night. Absolutely despise it. I also hate getting up at 5:30 just so I can get my workout in before I have to go to work. *sigh* I think that's probably the better option though. If I try to put it off until after work I end up wasting the entire evening putting it off, and then finally get to it right before bed, which ends up being far too late for my tastes.
In non-PCP news, I just mailed my wedding invitations. It's really exciting, but it's left me with a very strange feeling. Because despite all the money we've sunk into this thing already, there was always the option of backing out without a lot of explanation or embarassment. Now we're past the cliched point of no return. I'm not having any sort of regrets; I don't want you to think that. It's more......a realization that the simple act of placing those envelopes in the mailbox was effectively a life changing event. It seems like such a strange thing.
But now I'm going to go workout, and then off to bed. 7 is far too early to need to be at work.
In non-PCP news, I just mailed my wedding invitations. It's really exciting, but it's left me with a very strange feeling. Because despite all the money we've sunk into this thing already, there was always the option of backing out without a lot of explanation or embarassment. Now we're past the cliched point of no return. I'm not having any sort of regrets; I don't want you to think that. It's more......a realization that the simple act of placing those envelopes in the mailbox was effectively a life changing event. It seems like such a strange thing.
But now I'm going to go workout, and then off to bed. 7 is far too early to need to be at work.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Almost habits already?
First, let me talk about the surprise I got yesterday when I woke up (and then another, bigger one when I worked out).
I woke up, and DIDN'T HURT. Much. I was still a little sore, but after the massive failure that were Day 3's pushups, I wasn't expecting to be able to move my arms, much less be almost entirely pain free. It was like my body suddenly decided to rebuild itself in the night. And then I went to workout, and when I got to the pushups, I did the entire first set without even needing to pause--a first for me. I'm still doing them on my knees, but holy crap. I was seriously dreading the extra set, but I got through it fine, and probably could (and should) have done a couple more--I did 5 on the first 3 sets, then upped it to 8 on the last one.
And then there's how I'm feeling right now. I woke up late, so I didn't have time to work out this morning. I'm actually feeling what I can only call a craving for jumproping. I'm also feeling more sluggish than normal, and I forgot things this morning (not sure if it's a symptom of not exercising or if I've just been lucky the past week or so. I forget things a lot, but haven't since PCP started).
Crap. Forgot two things, one of which I just remembered now. Need to call the caterer....and left my cell at home. Fantastic. Perhaps I'll remember tomorrow.
Go Team Army Ants!!
I woke up, and DIDN'T HURT. Much. I was still a little sore, but after the massive failure that were Day 3's pushups, I wasn't expecting to be able to move my arms, much less be almost entirely pain free. It was like my body suddenly decided to rebuild itself in the night. And then I went to workout, and when I got to the pushups, I did the entire first set without even needing to pause--a first for me. I'm still doing them on my knees, but holy crap. I was seriously dreading the extra set, but I got through it fine, and probably could (and should) have done a couple more--I did 5 on the first 3 sets, then upped it to 8 on the last one.
And then there's how I'm feeling right now. I woke up late, so I didn't have time to work out this morning. I'm actually feeling what I can only call a craving for jumproping. I'm also feeling more sluggish than normal, and I forgot things this morning (not sure if it's a symptom of not exercising or if I've just been lucky the past week or so. I forget things a lot, but haven't since PCP started).
Crap. Forgot two things, one of which I just remembered now. Need to call the caterer....and left my cell at home. Fantastic. Perhaps I'll remember tomorrow.
Go Team Army Ants!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The mind tricks have begun (but I'm winning)
The hunger was definitely easier to deal with today. Although I'll have to admit that having been at home all day has made determining "half" more difficult. I'm looking forward to having a more specific diet plan, egg whites and all.
I've got a feeling that soreness is going to be a constant companion for the next 87 days. I'd prepared myself for a lot of things involved in this challenge--difficult workouts, brand new (and fairly specific) diet, no sugar, no salt, lots of jumproping. But despite that, I somehow managed to not think I was going to be this sore this fast. I mean, it's not THAT bad. pain, rather than Pain, or even PAIN. But still. Maybe I ought to just start thinking of it as my new friend that I get to hang out with for 90 days.
The pushups this morning are still my nemesis. I just barely managed 8 in the first set, and then struggled to do even the minimum in the last two sets. Had to take a couple extra breaks to get them all done. And had a lovely conversation with myself before I even started where I lied and told myself that I could stop if I did 8 in the first set. I felt sort of crazy doing it, but it worked, so I'm not going to argue. Also could really feel the situps after those leg ups yesterday. Love them, and the squats too. Lunges are harder since I tend to lose my balance on those. Pretty sure that'll get easier in time though.
Oh mind tricks, how I love thee.
I've got a feeling that soreness is going to be a constant companion for the next 87 days. I'd prepared myself for a lot of things involved in this challenge--difficult workouts, brand new (and fairly specific) diet, no sugar, no salt, lots of jumproping. But despite that, I somehow managed to not think I was going to be this sore this fast. I mean, it's not THAT bad. pain, rather than Pain, or even PAIN. But still. Maybe I ought to just start thinking of it as my new friend that I get to hang out with for 90 days.
The pushups this morning are still my nemesis. I just barely managed 8 in the first set, and then struggled to do even the minimum in the last two sets. Had to take a couple extra breaks to get them all done. And had a lovely conversation with myself before I even started where I lied and told myself that I could stop if I did 8 in the first set. I felt sort of crazy doing it, but it worked, so I'm not going to argue. Also could really feel the situps after those leg ups yesterday. Love them, and the squats too. Lunges are harder since I tend to lose my balance on those. Pretty sure that'll get easier in time though.
Oh mind tricks, how I love thee.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Day 2
Day 2 is better than Day 1. So far anyhow. I wasn't as hungry, and I didn't get a headache (yet, at least). I think getting 9 hours of sleep last night really helped. The night before I only got 6 or so, and I ought to know my body well enough to know that isn't a good idea.
Food aside, does anyone else have really sore calves? I'm thinking it was the squats, since I did 300 jumps a couple of days in a row a week or two before PCP without soreness. It's not terrible, most of the time, but it does get annoying every time I go up and down the stairs at work. Muscle failure again with the pushups, but I was expecting it this time.
And....that's about it, really. Not much exciting has happened today. I'll let you know if something does. :)
Food aside, does anyone else have really sore calves? I'm thinking it was the squats, since I did 300 jumps a couple of days in a row a week or two before PCP without soreness. It's not terrible, most of the time, but it does get annoying every time I go up and down the stairs at work. Muscle failure again with the pushups, but I was expecting it this time.
And....that's about it, really. Not much exciting has happened today. I'll let you know if something does. :)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Day one so far
So it's day one, and as Patrick told us in his e-mail, it's both very easy and very hard.
The workout this morning was both. I picked up my jumprope about a week before we started and started practicing, so that part was a breeze. I think I even did one set without getting tangled.
Pushups were another story altogether. I've always been well aware that I have no upper body strength. So I went into the pushups with low expectations, but a good deal of determination. (I want Emily's arms damn it!) As low as my expectations were, however, I was not expecting muscle failure on the very first day. At rep 7 on the last set I went down, and just couldn't push myself back up. I'm definitely going to be feeling that tomorrow.
The diet hasn't been difficult as much as frustrating. My mini bagel for breakfast did a good job of keeping me satisfied, but I was still pretty hungry when lunch came around. Eating just half of THAT left me...unhappy. Sort of. I was full, eventually. But only for about half an hour. And now I'm getting a headache. It's the first for PCP, but it's definitely not the last. (I get them a lot, and have many triggers. Hunger is one of them. Lack of sleep is another).
But I will prevail, and tell my body to shut up and adjust.
Go Team Army Ants!
The workout this morning was both. I picked up my jumprope about a week before we started and started practicing, so that part was a breeze. I think I even did one set without getting tangled.
Pushups were another story altogether. I've always been well aware that I have no upper body strength. So I went into the pushups with low expectations, but a good deal of determination. (I want Emily's arms damn it!) As low as my expectations were, however, I was not expecting muscle failure on the very first day. At rep 7 on the last set I went down, and just couldn't push myself back up. I'm definitely going to be feeling that tomorrow.
The diet hasn't been difficult as much as frustrating. My mini bagel for breakfast did a good job of keeping me satisfied, but I was still pretty hungry when lunch came around. Eating just half of THAT left me...unhappy. Sort of. I was full, eventually. But only for about half an hour. And now I'm getting a headache. It's the first for PCP, but it's definitely not the last. (I get them a lot, and have many triggers. Hunger is one of them. Lack of sleep is another).
But I will prevail, and tell my body to shut up and adjust.
Go Team Army Ants!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Hi there!
Hello everyone! I'm Kristen, a 23 year old recent college grad, and even more recent resident of Wisconsin. I've never been "fit" per se, though I've been less heavy, and more heavy, than I am now. I'm ready to change the way I look, the way I look at myself, and the way I relate to food.
I'm really excited to get this party started and to meet all you guys doing it with me.
And until someone suggests a better name, I dub the April group the Army Ants. Because they can lift 5 times their body weight. And because I like watching The Big Bang Theory.
I'm really excited to get this party started and to meet all you guys doing it with me.
And until someone suggests a better name, I dub the April group the Army Ants. Because they can lift 5 times their body weight. And because I like watching The Big Bang Theory.
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